I would pay $3.00 to watch this movie

     A movie about vampires fighting werewolves… there’s just no movie recipe that sounds more appealing to me other than adding a “post-apocalyptic” in there somewhere. There is no way that “Underworld” should have failed to enthrall me; but it did. Don’t get me wrong, there are some very entertaining moments in “Underworld”. Overall, however, the movie was a letdown.

    The basic problem with this film was the inability of the director to exploit the nifty qualities of vampires and werewolves. I don’t recall one instance of vampires sucking blood or turning into bats or anything remotely vampiric in the entire film. The werewolves did turn into werewolves, but they seemed to me to look more like hairless were-piggies than werewolves. This movie would have remained intact by removing the monsters and inserting normal humans. Fair warning to all vampire and werewolf fans: Basically, this movie is a bad superhero film.

    The breakdown is pretty sad, given this movie’s potential. The acting was, on the whole, pathetic. The effects were good, the score was apropos, the writing uninspired, and the direction lackluster. There were bright spots, like Michael Sheen as the head werewolf, Lucian. Bill Nighy was also quite good as the head vampire, Viktor. Both of these actors managed to be convincing in their roles.

    The main characters, however, were so badly played that it felt like I was watching a sitcom. Kate Beckinsale has got to be the worst actress I have ever seen in a lead role. The reader may recall her from “Pearl Harbor”, wherein she was as terrible as she is in “Underworld”. This woman cannot convince me that she’s anything other than an actress. Her character could have been replaced by a cartoon with a computer-generated voice and had the same impact on “Underworld”.

    Ms. Beckinsale is a breath of fresh air compared to Scott Speedman in the role of Michael Corvin. Not only was the character bland, but Speedman took any flavor that might have been away from the character. He was a joke.

    I really can’t say much more about this movie. I still think it’s an entertaining film, but I wouldn’t bother going to see it in the theaters and I wouldn’t put it on my short list to watch. Basically, it’s an action film. There are some nice scenes, and the concept is cool, but I hope that the sequel has an entirely different cast and crew than this movie.